Something's not right

Impulsively going somewhere else if he's around, not being your usual loud self, looking outside the window pretending you just want to sight-see, asking somebody else when you can also ask him, can't move. It happens everyday it could be really irritating but can't control or curb the way my body responds or how my thoughts and mind works that a lot of times I think about slapping myself real hard so i could start acting normally again,which i doubt would work though.. I was looking at his photo at our bulletin a while back and told myself he's not really exceptionally handsome,maybe just a little above average? *seem to be trying to convince myself* well,he's really not..anway,going back..it's really funny that this morning, we we're waiting for others to come then he came and sat down then seemingly asked himself 'it's still early right'. It's actually directed to anyone who would care to answer. If I am my normal self i would readily look at my phone's time and answer the question however,sadly, i am my ridiculously,conscious self so I just kept quiet and just waited for someone else answer but apparently nobody seemed to have heard him so he stepped down and bought himself something. Moments later he came back, my officemates we're teasing Pat who just finished talking with her crush,while he's forced to be quiet because i think he could not relate to what they are talking about and i am quiet because he is around. We finally got to work, i let all of them get down,got a short glimpse of him enough to see that he's wearing a striped,blue polo shirt. I timed-in along with the others then ludicrously,walked hurriedly past them. By lunchtime i went to the canteen like i used to. After I finished I just heard George ask if I'm done. I said yes. I knew he is also with him. Then my hopelessly,weird self went near George obstructing him from my peripheral vision and hiding myself then asked George if he knew if Rizza is asking to be bought of something. He said he's not aware so I left with a faintly-spoken 'i'll go ahead' *like i'm speaking to myself*..it's so crazy and it's so pathetic.